Sunday, October 19, 2003

Talking Food

M&Ms has a fun thing on their website where you can vote for your favorite M&M commercials. I love M&M commercials, not just because they're usually funny and feature interesting guest stars, but because I have serious issues with talking food.

But Adam, I hear you thinking, the M&M commercials feature, um, talking M&Ms don't they?

Well yes, but I should be more specific: I have issues with talking food that wants to be eaten.

When I was a kid there was an ad with a claymation potato sitting on a couch and complaining to the camera that she wasn't "good enough" to be in a particular brand's frozen French fries. She seemed really hurt. Isn't this a good thing? I mean, I know actual potatoes don't have such feelings, but if you're going to be anthropomorphized, I should think you'd want to stay alive for a while and enjoy your TV and knitting.

The California Raisins were fun and all, but ultimately they were selling the public on eating their own kind.

The latest offender I've seen is this commercial for Warm and Chewy Chips Ahoy, in which claymation cookies sing, while they're in the microwave, about how they're about to die. Granted, this doesn't fall into the category of food that wants to be eaten, but it does fall into the category of things that creep me the fuck out! It makes me absolutely not want to go anywhere near those cookies. (Maybe the real enemy is claymation!)

Back in the day, the M&Ms themselves went to boot camp to become the best M&Ms they could so they'd be fit for consumption. (And they ran around naked, which never made sense to me.) But now the Ms have seen the error of their ways, and they address my bizarre issues and speak out for talking food everywhere. They don't want to be eaten, they actively resist capture and fear for their very chocolaty lives. These are some smart and sassy little candies.

Curiously, this only makes me want to eat them more. Well, the real ones. I feel very protective of the talking ones. But their tiny little bretheren are fair game.

I have so many issues.

(In case anyone is wondering, I voted for Hotel for best performance, Lick for best ensemble, Floor for best fall, Vending Machine for best action sequence, and Valentine for both best entrance, and best overall commercial. Yeah, along with issues, I have much too much free time right now.)





Old Comments:
Food that wants to be eaten has not entered the breakfast food commercial. I always thought that cereal commercials were out to create generations of paranoiacs. In every one, every time someone sits down to eat a bowl, all kinds of thieves and monsters pop up to swipe it. Lordy.
David | Email | Homepage | 10.19.03 - 6:01 pm | #

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True. And I've always been bothered by the Trix Rabbit, who seems to exist to teach children that sharing is bad and ridiculing those who are different than you is good.
Adam875 | Email | Homepage | 10.19.03 - 6:45 pm | #

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