Monday, July 12, 2004

Educational Television

I had planned to write a nice fun post today about ME's bachelor party (which was both nice and fun). Then it looked like my union was about to go on strike, so you were going to get a rant about that instead. Then, at the eleventh hour, the strike was averted, and while I still have some major issues with the way Equity behaves and the way it treats its members, I'm so relieved and happy at the outcome (and actually impressed by the way they grew some balls on some important issues) that it seems inappropriate to publicly bitch about them at the moment (even though I kinda just did, and probably will more fully once things settle down).

But now I'm sleepy and don't feel coherent enough to go back to Plan A, so instead I give you the following list:

Things Boy and I Learned While Watching The 4400
  1. V remains the standard by which all alien miniseries shall be judged.
  2. Appropriately, V will also be ripped off as long as there are alien miniseries.
  3. You can always tell when something was shot in Canada, because any children in the cast will have incredibly thick accents.
  4. Speaking of children, they are mostly creepy. Mostly.
  5. Telekinesis works exactly the way Stephen King said it would in Carrie.
  6. Teen boys with healing powers are always very cute and vaguely gay (see also, Carnivale).
  7. People who suddenly wake up 60 years in the future will experience no culture shock whatsoever, and immediately know how to use all sorts of technology. Unless they are black. (See also, Song of Susannah.)
  8. Keep your psychic advice to yourself unless you want to stay an orphan.
  9. Always carry a hanky just in case your newfound alien power causes you to spontaneously bleed from the nose, ears or eyes (see also, The X Files.)
  10. If you can magically heal things, chances are you can magically kill them as well.
  11. A good way to cope with the feelings of alienation you experience after your return is to make a move on former lovers' descendants.
  12. If your first name has more than 17 letters, perhaps it is time to consider a professional pseudonym.
  13. If you're a lawyer, you can get a judge to issue a restraining order for no legal reason at all.
  14. Homosexuals are safe from the risk of alien abductions. Either that, or they're not returned.
  15. All white people have names like "Lilly," "Bryan," and "Heidi."
  16. If your big brother suddenly returns after a long absence, keep an eye on your girlfriend.
  17. Pairs of law enforcement officers will always contain one "Mulder" and one "Scully."
  18. If you hear Ivy's "Worry About You" in the background, you're doomed (see also, Kingdom Hospital).
  19. The Department of Homeland Security has jurisdiction over absolutely everything, but they have a very loose dress code and no policy at all about making personal calls.

All snark aside, loving this show.

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