Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Past Time

Why do people think they can talk to me about baseball? Do I look like someone who gives a flying fuck about baseball? Those of you who don't know what I look like, trust me, I don't. As I got into the elevator tonight a man I'd never seen before asked me if I know "the score." Um, to what?? Okay, I don't live in a box, so I knew to what, but how the hell would I know? I said a more polite version of this, and he told me what it had been when he checked it last, and, stuck in the elevator with the man I found myself trapped in a conversation about baseball. And this is not an isolated incident. Random strangers have been bringing this shit up in elevators and on subways and in line at the store all week.

I will never ever understand spectator sports. I like to play things occasionally, but I can think of few things less exciting than watching other people -- strangers no less -- do it. Now, there are plenty of people who will never understand musical theater, so okay, to each his own. But what I don't get is how worked up people get. When I see a bad play, I don't take it personally, and when I see a good one I don't take credit for it! "We won! We won!" Um, no, they won, and they'd get paid more money than you or I will ever see in our lives even if they hadn't. And these people get so damned upset when they lose! Again, you weren't playing. You've done nothing wrong. Unless you're a betting man, this does not affect your life one iota. It's only a game, people, let's keep it in perspective. I hope the Yankees lose just so I can stop hearing about it.

So no, I have no fucking idea what the score is.

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