Monday, November 29, 2004

Get Out Of My Way

Last night in the Times Square subway station, I observed a group of tourists blocking a considerable amount of the large entryway because they were completely baffled by the MetroCard vending machines. I lingered a little bit, curious to know if they spoke English before judging them too harshly. They sounded like they were from the UK, so judge harshly I did. Those machines really couldn't be any simpler. Giant buttons on a touch screen with plain instructions. Get out of my way.


This morning I was a little late leaving the house, so I decided to try a different route to work -- a longer walk to the station, but a faster train once I get there. I was prepared for the insane crush of people on the much-too-narrow-for-a-station-this-busy platform (which is why I generally avoid it when I can) but wasn't prepared for the line of people at the "token" booth so long it actually blocked the doors into the station. Folks, maybe you shouldn't wait until Monday at 8:30 AM to buy your weekly MetroCard. Get out of my way.


When I finally made it down to the train, it was unsurprisingly crowded. What was a little surprising, was the woman with the double-stroller, containing two children, one of whom was clearly old enough to walk. I totally appreciate that raising kids in the city isn't easy, and you need to get around somehow, but lady, a double stroller on the subway at the height of rush hour? Come on! Get out of my way.


I was the last person to force my way on to the train, which meant I had to step off of it so as not to block the door so people could get off at the next stop. No big deal. Except the people who'd been waiting there didn't want to wait anymore, and Stroller Bitch was getting off. I had to physically restrain an old lady behind me to keep her from pushing me, or pushing past me onto the train...which she wouldn't have been able to get on anyway until Stroller Bitch stopped blocking the door with her brats on wheels. But I am a good subway rider. I let passengers off before shoving my way on. And dammit I already had a rightful spot in that car and no way was this old cunt getting on there before me. Then Stroller Bitch ran over my foot. Get out of my way, and OW!


I couldn't cope with all the people on the escalator at 53rd Street, so I walked, deciding it made up for not going to the gym all last week. I emerged, on schedule, into the beautiful day and took a deep breath. I walked a block and a half, and two foreign businessmen stepped halfway out onto the narrow sidewalk, and stopped right in the middle, apparently trying to get their bearings. One of them had a rolly suitcase sticking out behind him. I saw them in plenty of time, but gave the suitcase a good kick and made an exaggerated tripping motion anyway just to make a point. And that point would be (say it with me now): Get the fuck out of my way!!

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