Friday, March 18, 2005

Another reason to avoid the gym

Way back at the dawn of Judgment Call, there was some debate over whether the first word of this blog's title should have an e in the middle of it or not. One of the pieces of pro-E evidence was that the slogan for Crunch gyms is "No Judgements" (which the Microsoft spell-checker is furiously underlining on my screen at the moment). In the end we learned that while the extra E is not technically incorrect (whatever Microsoft says), judgment is the preferred and customary American spelling.

Why am I recapping, you ask? Because the fitness chains are out to get me. Last night I was at the gym (not Crunch, which, incidentally lies and is one of the most intimidating places on earth) and I was staring fairly blankly at one of the TVs playing the in-house "Sports Clubs Network" of bad music videos. There'd been a strange block of not-quite-hits from the 80s that pulled my attention away from The Golden Girls, and then a commercial for New York Sports Clubs came on. This was strange, since I was already there, but it's a funny campaign so I watched it and laughed.

And suddenly I stopped laughing when I realized, after months of working out here, that their slogan is "There's a million reasons to join." I was confused for a second. Could "a million" be singular? Like "a million" is a thing unto itself? No, the "a" is really just standing in for "one," and any way you slice it or spell it, it means "1,000,000." You'd never write "an eight" or "a two." And the s on "reasons" was a clear giveaway of plurality anyway. There are a million reasons to join. And there's no way around it.

I'm going to have to find another gym.

No comments: