Monday, October 31, 2005

Kids Today

It's our first Halloween in the new apartment, and the first time in a few years I've had to deal with trick-or-treaters (there are 100+ units here, and my last place was a small walk-up that I suspect wasn't worth the effort). Since Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, it trumps my overall distaste for children. But these kids aren't even trying. About half of them haven't been in costume at all. Maybe another quarter has thrown on a cape or some fake teeth. Many just stand there and hold their bags out, like they're just entitled to get candy from strangers with no effort, creativity, or even a "please" on their part. They don't even seem that into it themselves.

It's times like this I wish I kept cyanide or straight pins around the house.

I realize it's Halloween...

...but doesn't putting a bowl of mini Nestle Crunches out in the cardio room at the gym seem a little counter-intuitive?

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Spin Zone

I've been fascinated by the political ads on the TV and radio. Unlike last year, when it was all just depressing and terrifying, I have no great interest in the commercials and can watch from a distance. The big races in the area are the New York City mayor and the New Jersey governor.

The mayoral ads are totally clean and positive. I haven't seen a single attack ad. Of course, there's kinda no need, since the incumbent is a billionaire and the his challenger hasn't raised in total what he spends in a week (that's not hyperbole), so it's all pretty one-sided. But still, good game, guys.

Meanwhile, I haven't seen a single positive NJ ad. It's all mud, all the time. I have no idea what either candidate really stands for, just that they're both apparently extremely corrupt bastards. Today on the radio one used the phrase, "What else would you expect from a tax-happy liberal like John Corzine?" I decided right then and there that I want to use the phrase "tax-happy liberal" as much as possible. Let's spin that another way: "He loves kittens and makes fudge for neighborhood children. What else would you expect from a tax-happy liberal like John Corzine?"

Of course, I'd make fudge and eat it all in front of neighborhood children to taunt them, but then, I have no political ambitions.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

I'm smart and cultured

Tonight I attended a seminar at a museum.

Okay, so it was The Museum of Television and Radio and it was called "Cheap Shots and Guilty Pleasures: Television in the Age of Irony", but admit it, you were impressed for a second there!

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Chores are evil

The machines in my laundry room take "smart cards" instead of coins. This saves the hassle of scrounging for quarters, but adds the new hassles of having to keep track of your card, only being able to add to the card with bills (so it's like scrounging for quarters in reverse), and only being able to run the dryer for 30 minutes – no more, no less – because that's what happens when you put the card in instead of each quarter giving you 10 minutes or whatever.

So today I started my laundry and after paying for the washer I saw that I had 25 cents left on my card, and a dollar in my wallet. I went back up the apartment and asked Boy if he had any cash. He too had a dollar. So I figured I'd use our two dollars to start the dryers on their first round ('cause that 30 minutes is never enough), run out to the bank, get some groceries, all would be well. Of course, still decaffeinated, I did the math wrong, and when I went down to the laundry room I was 25 cents short for the second dryer. Ironically, I have close to $10 in quarters in my little change bank, but those do me no good.

So, since Sunday is a busy day in the laundry room and it seemed unwise to leave a dryer full of wet clothes not running for too long, lest someone either empty it or get pissed off or both, I changed plans and went off to find the closest ATM, instead of the fee-free one 5 blocks away. I spotted a sign on a deli across the avenue and quickly crossed the street while the Don't Walk light was flashing. Meanwhile, some idiot made a left turn in her car apparently without checking the crosswalk at all. Either way she was in the wrong, since flashing red meant the light was still mine, and full red would have made her turn illegal. I saw her coming and knew she wasn't going to hit me, but it was going to be a question of which of us would go through first. Without slowing, she passed so closely in front of me that the antenna on the back of her car grazed my nose. Almost reflexively, I smacked the back of the car with the back of my hand. This had the desired effect of startling the driver and her passenger, who slowed down as if to make sure they hadn't actually run me over, but it was also surprisingly unsatisfying and surprisingly painful. I'd have been better off letting her hit me and then suing the bitch and retiring.

Safely inside the deli, I swiped my ATM card in the machine and asked for $80. It gave me $60. The receipt says "Withdrawl: $80.00; Dispensed Amount: $60.00," along with the cryptic message, "Transaction was partial reversed," but until it shows up on my online banking I'm going to worry about it.

A block away from the deli I put my hand in my pocket and realized my laundry card was missing. I mean, sure, it only had a dollar on it, but new cards cost money and I had just spend more than that in ATM fees. I went back to the deli, figuring it had fallen out of my pocket when I took out my wallet. Nope. I calmly walked back to the building, thinking maybe I'd left it in the dryer. Nope. It had just vanished. Or run away, as if it was out to get me, which at this point seemed much more plausible.

Resigned and over it, I put money in the machine to get a new card. And this was when I learned that the new cards are pre-loaded ($7 for your laundry, minus the $3 charge for the card itself) and therefore can only be paid for with a $10 bill. I went out AGAIN, and bought a bagel and soda on the corner to break a 20, officially making this both the most expensive and high-calorie load of laundry I've ever done.

I suppose going back to bed now wouldn't be unwise. Too bad it's covered with unfolded laundry.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

He had it c***ing

The movie version of Chicago: The Musical is on network TV right now. Apparently it's okay to show women dancing around in their underwear singing about murder at 8:00 on a Saturday night, just as long as they don't say "ass" or "screw."

Friday, October 21, 2005

Who needs Elvis?

If you were wondering what the President had to say to Bono, click here.

Sunrise, Sunset



Thursday, October 20, 2005

Hello? Anyone out there?

Is this thing on?

It's really not fair. I quit blogging and the universe gives me Surface, Supernatural, Flight Plan and the iPod Nano.

I pretty much stopped reading blogs as well as writing them over the summer. Over the last couple of days I've been catching up, updating my RSS feeds and adding various forms of web-browsing back into my daily routine (for that matter, adding a daily routine back into my day), and it made me kind of miss The JC.

So I figure a few people have me Blogrolled or Bloglined or in an RSS reader and you might actually know I've done this.

So welcome to Judgment Call 2.0. We'll see how often I post. Part of the reason I paused was because it was feeling like homework, so I'm only going to post when I really have something to say. Not that "something to say" in any way equals quality blogging, but my three loyal readers know that already!