Thursday, November 24, 2005

Gobble This

Long-time JC readers know that I have some weird pet peeves, many of them about highly common but incorrect uses of the English language. Certain misuses of words or phrases actually make me physically tense. While my reaction to this may not always be sensible, the things I'm reacting to are generally genuine Wrong Things.

Lately though, hearing people calling Thanksgiving "Turkey Day" makes me absolutely nuts. And I feel like I've heard the phrase more this year than ever before. I don't know why it irks me. I am not a militant vegetarian. I am quite traditional about my Thanksgiving meal and eat turkey without fail every year. I have no family customs involving a pre-meal prayer or giving thanks or honoring the pilgrims or whatever; we just dig in and eat.

But when I hear "Turkey Day," I tense up as if you'd said "I could care less about ATM machines at the Macy's Day Parade."

I think it's safe to say that for most Americans, even those who do give heartfelt prayers of thanks or perform skits about genocide, this is a holiday primarily about food, just like Chrismukkah is now primarily about presents. So you'd think I'd appreciate the open acknowledgement of the true meaning of Thanksgiving: gluttony.

But "Turkey Day" just grates me! Is it like Veteran's day, honoring the great accomplishments of American turkeys? Why not Stuffing Day, or Cranberry Day, or friggin' Pie Day? Pie Day! Now there's a holiday I can get behind! Mmmmm...pie....

Oh well. On the bright side, I saw an ATM in a deli the other day with the brand name, "Access to Money." If we all adopt this new meaning for the acronym then "ATM machine" will no longer be incorrect and maybe my head won't explode before next Pie Day.

No comments: