Tuesday, April 01, 2008

C is for...

Seriously, I couldn't have found a less fattening hobby?? The rest of my Amazon order arrived today – a bunch of inexpensive kitchen stuff to go with the KitchenAid mixer (and, totally unrelated, the Sweeney Todd DVD). I often find I like making Martha Stewart recipes less than I like watching her make them – they can be just a little too fussy – but I couldn't resist buying her new cookie book anyway, and it looks spectacular. It's divided into sections by texture, which is maybe the most brilliant thing ever. So there's a "Soft and Chewy" chapter, "Crisp and Crunchy," "Rich and Dense," and so on. All with gorgeous photos that just make me want to bake all day long. She really is an evil genius.

Meanwhile, I decided that the mixer needed a name. Martha was too obvious, of course. I tried out Alice, after the Brady's maid, but it didn't stick. Sydney, after Sydney Bristow, 'cause she kicks ass and Jennifer Garner is a big Martha fan? Julia, as in Child? No, it had to be something that made sense in our household. I realized that with its imposing, metal, oblong head, the mixer looks a little like a Cylon centurion from the new BSG. (PS, KitchenAid, if you ever made a model with that red light going back and forth I would SO buy it!) Okay, so Number Six? Boomer? Deanna? Starbuck? Nope, nope, nope.

Then it struck me: Why is the mixer a woman? I mean, sure, there's the whole tradition of naming boats and guitars and cars after women, but there was also something unappealingly sexist about deciding that a kitchen appliance had to be female. And then it hit me.

Our stand mixer's name is Colonel Tigh. And the other appliances had better not frak around.