Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Do you think you're what they say you are?

We're barely 5 minutes into this week's sure-to-be-tragic episode of American Idol, and Ryan Seacrest just said, "[Andrew Lloyd Webber has] composed most of the important musicals of our time."

I'm sorry, what?? Look, I like Andrew Lloyd Webber. He's composed some very, very popular musicals. Some of them are even good. Some might even be considered important, if not artistically then for the way they changed the landscape of Broadway.

But most? Look, I know this is a world where "too Broadway" is a common criticism. If Ryan's ever even seen a musical he wouldn't admit it lest he look gayer. And for the love of god, there should never ever be a Stephen Sondheim or Jason Robert Brown night on American Idol. But really? Surely there's a homo or two on the writing staff there who could've written a less off-putting voiceover.

Oh my god now Dreadlock Boy is singing "Memory." This is the worst idea ever. It's nowhere near in his range and he seems to have forgotten the words. I totally get that most of these kids are out of their elements here, but why not ask someone which songs were written for boys?

I have to stop blogging while I watch this or I'll throw my laptop at the TV.

Okay, one last thing, and it's actually a compliment to Lord Lloyd Webber. It's apparently actually impossible to sing "You Must Love Me" without sounding like you're on your deathbed. It's a surprisingly great example of music telling a story and conveying a character's emotional place in that story. Unfortunately, that makes it one of the worst possible choices for karaoke, and Brooke, a good singer, sounded like she was dying of cancer.