Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Weird praise for MTV

I don't watch much MTV these days, but I'm sort of obsessed with The Paper. More on that later (y'know, maybe), but I like how MTV has basically acknowledged that the only music on the channel now plays in the background of its reality shows, and puts up video-style credits whenever a scene is underscored. What I really admire is their commitment to this device: Tonight's episode of The Paper featured a song from Annie Get Your Gun, and the little widget popped up and said "Artist: Ethel Merman." I think it might have been spelled wrong, but I appreciate it anyway.

Sad Kitty

I know I hardly ever write "real" posts anymore. Uh, sorry?

Anyway, in the meantime enjoy this genius film, via Cute Overload. (No reflection intended on my own mental state, nor that of my cat.)

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Thank you, America!

And thank you, American Idol, for not giving the line "I was every little hungry schoolgirl's pride and joy" to Archuletta.

My Civic Duty

As I write this, the American Idol finale is starting (I can't bear to watch all 2 hours so I'm DVR-delaying), so by the time you read it the whole awful thing will probably be all over. But I just want to say now to the pop culture gods, please please please don't let David Archuletta win.

I've haven't felt this strongly about the outcome of American Idol since... ever. Last night I voted - multiple times - for the first time since season one. Given my usual affection for the skinny, baby-faced, gay or gay-acting Idolers (those season one votes were for Jim Verarros - don't judge me!), you'd think i'd be an Archuletta fan. But Jim was an underdog and the standards were lower in those early days. And also, I HATE the way David sings.

I hate the way his voice seems to come from the back of his throat as if he's doing a bad Kermit the Frog impression. I hate the way he can't sing a song straight. What was all that Mariah Carey shit he did last night during "Imagine?" I hate his complete and total lack of stage presence. I hate the way his performances put me to sleep with the stunning blandness. I hate the way the judges inexplicably fawn all over him. Maybe there's something they see live that doesn't make it through the cameras?

Look, I'm sure he's a nice kid. And he's cute in a slightly creepy neutered jailbait way. He has a decent range and usually remembers his lyrics. I can't imagine what all this attention from the likes of Ryan Seacrest and Paula Abdul and 10-year-old girls must do to a shy 17-year-old who probably got the crap beat out of him on a daily basis in school until a few months ago. So let him come back in 5 years when his voice (and the rest of him) has matured a little. But please, if you care about truth, justice and pop music (and David Cook, a contestant who's actually very talented), don't let the Muppet win.

And if it's already happened, consider this my angry rant, and hope that we've all forgotten all about it by next week.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Street Scenes

This afternoon I saw two things on the street that struck me as odd, even by Midtown Manhattan standards.

Outside Macy's, a woman dropped the cigarette she was smoking onto the sidewalk, picked it up, and put it back in her mouth. I guess if you're already a smoker it doesn't really matter what other nasty shit you put in your body, but EW. I tend not to be squeamish about living in New York. I know that when I touch a stairway railing, or hold a subway pole, or, frankly, walk into my gym's locker room, I'm taking my life in my hands. I can't live in a bubble, and germs are, as Dan Savage would say, the price of admission. But dude, you don't pick up things off the streets of New York and put them in your mouth! No! Bad tourist!

A few hours later I saw a man wearing a belt that said "JESUS IS MY BOSS." I suppose it's a fine sentiment if you like that sort of thing, but it seemed a strange thing to emblazon above one's ass. I couldn't help thinking that "Jesus holds my pants up" would have been more appropriate. Then again, the belt was upside down, so maybe Jesus needs to hire some smarter employees.

Pluck all night

Saturday, May 10, 2008


I think I can handle a lot. I try to accept that other people have beliefs that differ from mine, and to be open to those beliefs even when they're stupid. I can have an open mind and a conversation about intelligent design, Jesus, Iraq, or The Hills. But...

Florida Teacher Accused of Wizardry

...seriously?? In the United States of America, in the 21st Century, the most basic of slight of hand illusions gets a man fired? I have nothing witty to say about this, I'm just too baffled.