Judgment Call 3: Senior Year

and once again with the testing

2009-03-16T19:52:00.000-04:00

i have nothing to say, i just like playing with rss and javascript.

On the Oscars

2009-02-22T22:10:00.001-05:00

I hate the Oscars. Not the show. Not awards in general. No, I hate the way it turns me against the nominated movies.

I don't go to the movies much, and my Netflix queue is a mile long. So it's rare that I've seen many nominated films when the awards are actually given out. But it's also rare that I want to. Even before the nominations come out, I have this immediate, irrational distaste for "prestige movies." If something has even the faintest smell of Oscar-bait, I'm out. And after the nominations, forget it. I just assume it's pretentious and over-hyped and I don't want to see it.

While that's probably true of Benjamin Button, I'd probably like Milk and Slumdog and Revolutionary Road. But now I hate them, just because.

I do enjoy a good musical montage though!

Caveat Emptor

2009-02-21T18:40:00.003-05:00

Hey! Um, so I haven't blogged in quite a while, huh? I thought it had been longer, actually, but I did have to look to find that out. I've been feeling like getting back to it again lately, I'm not sure why. I've considered posting about shaving cream, Twitter, and video game boss fights, but of course, I'm back with a rant.

I was listening to Planet Money (which is amazing and you should all listen to it especially if you don't think you care about politics and the economy and don't know what's going on) and an otherwise very smart-sounding economist said something about people losing their homes "through no fault of their own" and I nearly threw my iPod out the window.

I've come close to blogging about this many times, but I thought, "Hey, I'm not that smart, I must be missing something." But I don't think I am.

Look, I know that lenders and brokers were "predatory," and I know that anyone who bought a home two years ago or so couldn't reasonably expect the bottom to drop out so dramatically. But what ever happened to "buyer beware?" Whatever happened to reading the fine print? To understand what you're signing when you're borrowing thousands of dollars? Especially the part about how the interest rate can change?

We need money education in this country almost as much as we need sex education. Maybe we can combine them. "Condoms cost less than babies!" College kids need to know that a credit card is not free money. Grown-ups need to learn that no one's going to just give you a house. There's nothing wrong with debt. Debt is useful. Debt can be a gift. But it is, by definition, something you have to pay back.

When Boy and I bought our apartment, we opted for a fixed-rate mortgage because, well, it's fixed. Our interest rate was higher than it would have been if we'd done an adjustable, but an adjustable, well, adjusts. And it does so unpredictably. We understood this in 2004, because we'd done our research. A higher rate now was worth less risk later. We knew going in what our payments would be, and we knew that if we did nothing, they would never change. We knew we could afford them. And that they won't go up, so as our salaries (hopefully) do, and the overall cost of living increases, their value will lower. We also, for various reasons, had to take a no-income-verification loan. The bank took a chance based on my good credit rating (unlike later, when they started taking chances based on nothing at all). But again, we knew we could afford it, or we wouldn't have done it. Because otherwise we'd be homeless.

Now, I should say that we had a fabulous, smart, ethical mortgage broker, which I know was the opposite of the case in all these sub-prime schemes. And those people should be punished. But I still don't see how that lets the borrowers off the hook. When I spend or borrow lots of money, it's as much my responsibility to do my homework as it is the salesman or lender's not to con me.

The situation has escalated, and is dire, and has so many effects elsewhere – I'm not saying I'm against bailouts or assistance (though I'm not saying I'm for them, either), I'm just saying "through no fault of their own" is bullshit.

Tell me why oh why are my genetics such a bitch

2008-11-10T11:41:00.002-05:00

I have a playlist that i constantly change with whatever my favorite songs are at the moment.

Right now it's about 90% Repo! The Genetic Opera, Rock of Ages and High School Musical 3.

What does that say about me as a person?

Seriously?

2008-09-30T20:14:00.001-04:00

Other People Say Things Better Than I Do

2008-09-28T10:51:00.002-04:00

DVR Break-Up: Heroes

I'm not quite at the break-up stage yet, but I couldn't have said it better myself.

Word. Dope, even.

2008-09-07T18:36:00.004-04:00

More 90210 memories, from The Ben Stiller Show. Jeanine Garafolo's Doherty is beyond genius.

Sort Of Live-Blogging 90210: I Have Questions

2008-09-03T20:17:00.007-04:00

The original Beverly Hills 90210 is weirdly important to me. It wasn't just the beginning of my ever-more-inappropriate-as-I-get-older obsession with teen soaps. I'm the same age as the characters (after they did a year twice), and during my senior year every major high school event in my real life synced up with the show. The prom episode aired the week of my prom; Donna Martin graduated the week of my graduation. It's not like 90210 had any relation to reality, but in my memory we all watched it. Teachers watched it. We were strangely invested. So while I only watched sporadically after that season (and what I did see pretty much sucked), I will always have a deep and bizarre affection for the show.

So I was both nervous and excited for the new version. The genre has been done so much better since 90210 invented it, I couldn't imagine how a remake could be anything other than either stale or a Gossip Girl rip-off. And I was sort of right, but I got totally sucked in and strangely enjoyed it anyway. I also had lots of questions, so I found myself live-blogging it. Unfortunately, real life kept me from watching the 2-hour premiere in one shot, so "live" is a relative term. But here it is!

I love the reference, but how can Andrea Zuckerman's daughter possibly be in high school? I didn't watch much of the college years, but I figure the earliest that child could have been born was 1995, right? Maybe she skipped a grade? Just weird. And why would a teacher say "How old is that girl, 30?" Poor Gabrielle Carteras.

I know they're trying to shock us, but who gets a blowjob in their car in the parking lot in FRONT of the school at the beginning of the day? There are people EVERYWHERE. Even Chuck Bass wouldn't go there. Well, unless he wanted to get caught.

Why does a public school have a board? Like I don't think it's the school board, it sounds like a board of directors.

Theme song! FINALLY! Oh, this kind of blows.

How did I not know Rob Thomas is behind this? No wonder it doesn't completely suck. Yet. Let's hope a future plot involves a sassy girl detective.

Okay, I'm relieved to see that blowjob boy is in fact kind of a moron. At least it's a consistent character trait.

Oh, duh, "Silver." David and Kelly's half-each-sister. Aw.

Has Joe E. Tata done ANYTHING in the last 10 years? For that matter, has Nat? At least with Kelly (and from what I've read, Brenda) the actors have done some stuff and they've also made an effort to write some mostly believable growing up and moving on with their lives into the characters. Nat, apparently, is completely unchanged. I suppose that should be a comfort but instead it's just kind of sad. He's like the Mr. Belding of Beverly Hills.

Oh I'm so glad the "cool" teacher who's also the lacrosse coach (presumably he's the only teacher we'll ever see) just made a homophobic comment during practice. That's classy, guys.

"Why don't I drive you home and we can swap stories about his penis?" Heh.

Um, yeah, there is no chorus in Spring Awakening. There's so much disbelief to suspend here, but this is what I'm choosing to be bothered by. Also, what the fuck are they doing with their arms?

Does anyone thing naming the lead mean girl Naomi and casting an Elizabeth Berkley look-alike is a reference to Showgirls? I hope Naomi stays mean and doesn't go the way of Kelly in the original first season. I don't have high hopes.

Hey, Not-Brenda's parents are ungrounding her. I wonder if she's already snuck out to go to the party. Unlike the Not-Walshes, I've watched TV before.

So we've got a clear Not-Brenda, Not-Kelly, Black-Brandon and Silver-Sister. I guess Ethan is the Not-Steve. Where are the Donna and Dylan equivalents?

I didn't watch the original show at the end - am I supposed to know who Kelly's baby-daddy is?

Why is there not a single homo on this show? It's Los Angeles in 2008, people.

I like how the outside of West Bev looks exactly like it did 15 years ago but they've apparently completely gutted and renovated the inside.

Hour two is slightly trashier than hour one, and therefore better.

Brenda! As weirdly forced and tacky as these original cast cameos are, I hope they bring back everyone eventually. And give them all awkwardly high-school-aged relatives.

Do people still say dope?

Next week: Kelly's mom! Dope!

When Animal Planet Meets Logo

2008-09-01T17:59:00.003-04:00

A month ago, Radish was diagnosed with a bladder infection, which was causing a urinary obstruction. This freaked us out (and was no fun for him either) but it's quite common in cats, and we and our vet were confident that after a couple of days of in-patient care followed by a course of medication, he'd be fine.

Not so much. He was better, but "better" involved mild incontinence, which required him to be locked in the kitchen, and a damaging amount of licking himself (apparently a cat's response to basically any problem), which required him to wear a cone on his head.

Then today he got worse, and was clearly blocked again. And because it's a holiday, this meant taking him to Kitteh and Puppeh ER (Vetrinarian's Hospital, the continuing story of a quack who's gone to the dogs). In spite of the traumatic subway ride into Manhattan, and as much as we like our local vet, there was actually something very comforting about the shiny, well-staffed, open-on-a-holiday hospital.

Long story short, at the recommendation of both our regular vet and those at the hospital, we left Radish there to have surgery to enlarge his urethra, thus making it easier for him to pass future blockages. Y'know how they enlarge a male cat's urethra? They remove his penis!! Sure, he's neutered and doesn't really have any use for it, but OWIE!

So I guess it's a good thing we gave him a unisex name. Please leave your suggestions for his drag name in the comments.

And because a cat in a cone is usually as funny as it is sad, here are some photos:

We tried this neck-brace-like collar for a day. It's supposed to provide more mobility and vision (he kept bumping the cone into things) but still keep him from bending enough to hurt himself. He got out of it in a matter of hours.

So we went traditional:

I'm looking forward to 2 more weeks of post-op cone hi-jinks!

Clumsy Kitten

2008-08-24T21:22:00.001-04:00

Gym Fail

2008-08-18T14:16:00.000-04:00

Apparently, fixing an elliptical machine involves hitting it repeatedly with a hammer.

This, it turns out, is the most annoying thing ever in the world. Especially if you're back at the gym after a 2-week hiatus and are looking for excuses to leave.

2008-08-17T16:33:00.002-04:00

I'm endlessly fascinated and completely horrified by How Clean Is Your House on BBC America. As you'd imagine from the title, the show is about these two wacky women who go into people's homes and clean them. What I also imagined from the title, before I ever watched it, was that they went into homes like mine - homes that are fairly clean in a normal, lived-in, I-don't-have-a-maid sort of way - and horrified viewers with lab tests of surfaces and peeks under sofas.

That would be horrifying and would make me want to spend all my free time cleaning, I'm sure. But that's not actually what the show is. Instead, they have found the most repulsive houses in Britain. It is quite remarkable to see them cleaned up, and the show is full of tips, but what I don't understand is how anyone who's not completely batshit crazy can live like that. I understand people who don't clean. I can see grimy sinks and dusty shelves and the like, but how does one function when the floor is covered with debris? How do you manage going to the toilet? These people have children and pets, they seem to bathe and eat, they know enough to know they need to go on the show, but they're not bothered by the smell? Do they keep buying new dishes and clothes instead of doing the washing?

And there's a marathon on and I can't stop watching. But I may get up and do some vacuuming now.

2008-08-08T22:52:00.001-04:00

Why is the American olympic team dressed like Ryan from High School Musical?

The Facts of Life

2008-07-30T11:48:00.002-04:00

Okay, I know I've reverted to just posting links and videos again, but this is too amazing not to share. I heart Bea Arthur!!

Also, completely unrelated, except that it also made me laugh today, there's this.

2008-07-29T23:35:00.002-04:00

Whoa, homo, whoa.

Gimme Gimme Gimme

2008-07-19T23:31:00.002-04:00

Okay, it's possible that the audience at Sweeney Todd who applauded the Mamma Mia! trailer was just full of musical theater fans, not necessarily flaming homosexuals.

The crowd tonight at Mamma Mia! who applauded for the High School Musical 3 trailer, however, is another story.

1, 2, 3, 4

2008-07-17T12:43:00.000-04:00

Amazing.

Car Alarm, Car Alarm

2008-07-14T14:43:00.004-04:00

Great piece from the New York Times about changes in New York over the last decade, as viewed through the lens of Rent - and why there's no such thing as a "realistic" musical:
Bohemia Takes Its Final Bows
“Rent” is closing at the end of the summer, but its ragtag New York left the stage many years ago, elbowed out by fusion cuisine and designer labels.

I especially like the part about how "Cyberland" is the enemy of the piece, when today all the characters would be blogging.

Ayuh

2008-07-09T11:07:00.001-04:00

So I've been traveling a little for work (oh, right, new job, blog about it), and mostly I haven't been bringing my camera because they're brief business trips without much sightseeing so I don't want to bother with one more thing to carry. But last month I was in Maine and found myself taking lots of pictures with my phone - though more of the kitchy safety card on my tiny, fairly ancient-seeming plane than of the scenery. I think I was somewhat inspired by Glark and Tara's "Atomic Tour" podcast and photo blogs, which are far more entertaining than they have any right to be. (Not that Glark and Tara aren't entertaining – they helped found and write for TWoP before NBC went and fucked it all up – but I've essentially been avidly watching the vacation slides of people I've never met. Which I guess is no different from any blog, but all the other podcasts I listen to are a little more presentational than a married couple chatting about their day of driving. But I'm totally hooked.)

Aaaanyway, speaking of other people's vacation slides, here's my dispatch from Maine.

Do you think when Rent closes next month this person will drive her car off a cliff?

This gelato? Not a fiasco at all! Unless you consider all the weight I would gain if I lived in Brunswick and could go here every day. Why would you name your business establishment this? Seems like tempting fate in a bad way. I wonder if a husband and wife fought over spending their life savings on an ice cream joint, and the one who didn't want to said, "Well this will be a fiasco." Curious. Anyway, I'm told they do quite well.

Next door, though... not so interested in this "experience."

It's Maine! We're folksy! I love that these rocking chairs litter the Portland airport, but no other attempt was made to make the building look like anything other than a modern (and quite nice) airport. I did spend quite a bit of time in one though, as my flight was delayed and it was near an outlet for my laptop.

Hey, where's the plane?

Dodging sniper fire.

I'm not much of a flier. It doesn't freak me out but I just don't enjoy it, and I don't do it very often. This plane, despite having my own "row" made me very claustrophobic. Also, when it was on the ground, there was this horrible squeaking noise that made me think of the cartoon landing gear from Amazing Stories

I was slightly obsessed with the old-school safety card on the tiny plane.

In case of heat vision, please locate the emergency exit closest to your seat.

Telekinesis!

Aquaman!

Who would pull out a remote controlled car on a plane?

In the event of a water landing, this aircraft is equipped with a floating light bulb to distract your infant from his imminent death.

Skynet cooks and cleans for me

2008-07-08T12:31:00.002-04:00

Lots of blogging in my head lately, very little of it making it through my fingers to the keyboard. Life is good and fairly dull overall. Good dull! Lots of domesticity.

Speaking of which, the dishwasher has been successfully installed! I'm quite proud of it, actually. The various tasks were exactly the opposite levels of difficulty I'd anticipated. I was very nervous about wiring the thing, but that turned out to be the easiest part. The few carpentry skills I have (plus some borrowed tools and the stock pieces we bought) served me well for building the counter, as did my improvisational approach from a decade of fixing props on the fly in low-budget theater (no hot glue was involved, but shelf brackets are my friends!).

We're not crazy about our existing countertops, and were also amazed to discover how many variations on that brown-ish speckled pattern there are at Home Depot, so rather than try to match something we don't like anyway, we went in the direction we'll ultimately head in if we ever decide to redo the whole kitchen properly. Instead of looking like Frankencounter like I thought it would, the new section feels of a piece with the dishwasher, making it look like a "normal" (in my worldview) appliance with its own skin.

Which leaves us with the plumbing, which I foolishly thought would be the easy part. Even the simple task of attaching the water line became stressful when I discovered that the hot water valve to our kitchen sink doesn't close completely and had to race to finish before the small container I had catching the drip filled up, while trying not to burn my fingers too badly. Then it turned out our drain pipe was extremely bendy, made up of many pieces of copper pipe, at many different angles. The first piece out of the sink was only a couple of inches long, and was followed by a curved piece. Dishwasher "tailpiece" attachments only come in one size that I could find. You can trim the bottom easily enough, but the piece where the dishwasher's hose attaches was already too far down from the top for my drain to accommodate in its odd configuration. So off came the second piece of pipe. And then the third. Much sweating and frustration and mild panic under the sink ensued, and in the end, I cobbled together out of bendy-straw-like PVC pipe and duct tape a contraption that looks like something the A-Team would use to shoot non-lethal projectiles at bad guys. It's on the list to replace eventually, but it works for now.

(The crooked outlet, for the record, was like that when we moved in - not my doing at all!)

I'm really pleased with how it turned out. The entrance to the kitchen is a little tight now, but that had been almost totally unused space before, so opening up the actual working part of the room is a worthwhile trade-off to have made. I love having the extra counter space, and shelf/hanging space above, and everything feels a little brighter. Oh, and it washes dishes too! I'm never satisfied, of course, and I want the dishwasher to basically be magical. I don't understand why some things dry nicely and others (made of the same material and just inches away) don't, and I'd really like it if it could teleport the clean dishes away to the cabinet when it finished with them. Is that so much to ask? But no, I love it, and I can never live without one ever again.

The weekend of the dishwasher turned out to be a big one for our kitchen all around, as it was also Boy's birthday. I'd made bread a few weeks earlier, which prompted him to declare that we should get a bread machine. I was skeptical for no logical reason, and said I could just make bread more often. But then it got really hot and every time I thought about doing it I didn't want to take the time or run the oven, and he hadn't really talked about wanting anything else, so it seemed like the perfect birthday present. And it's really kind of awesome. It still takes hours for dough to rise and what-not, but it's all automatic. You dump in the ingredients and walk away. I've used it once, but mostly it's Boy's toy and he keeps trying new recipes and I keep getting to eat them. It's a win-win! The machine has a Cylon-esque look about it, so in keeping with the theme of Colonel Tigh, Boy named it Number Six. Because it has a bun in the oven.

Padme

2008-07-04T12:11:00.000-04:00

Atom.com: Funny Videos | Funny Cartoons | Comedy Central

Me and Hello Kitty Down by the Schoolyard

2008-06-18T09:00:00.002-04:00

Trying to blog more, even if it's just silly little things. I have a bunch of photos on my phone I'd nearly forgotten about. Here they are!

Car full of puppies!

Saw this mural in a Northern Blvd. schoolyard the other day and thought it was awesome in its strangeness. I'm not sure what the benefit of a flying 7 train would be, especially if it had to stay near the tracks like that. But if it's faster, I'm all for it.

For any non-New Yorkers out there, it's grammatically correct; that's the borough/county of Queens, and it is confusingly singular. If it said "Queens are the future," it would mean something totally different - but no less awesome!

Walking down Park Avenue last week, I passed these metal Hello Kitty statues in an office building plaza. These would be strange and out of place enough on their own, but they're also fountains. Yes, that's not a trick of the light: Hello Kitty is weeping. And the one that's not projectile-crying looks like it's about to attack Manhattan.

The hell?

Things that disturb me:

2008-06-17T20:35:00.002-04:00

The way they've started dressing all the girls on MTV's Legally Blonde casting show in matching grey hoodies, as if they're in some sort of cult.

Though I suppose a mass suicide would make the show more interesting.

Best Blonde Maria

2008-06-17T12:44:00.000-04:00

High School Tony Awards Honor Nation's Biggest Drama Club Nerds

With great appliances comes great responsibility

2008-06-15T22:15:00.003-04:00

Boy and I are the proud new owners of a beautiful dishwasher. Except for a few weeks each of the summers I worked at Undisclosed Location Summer Theater, I have never lived anywhere with a dishwasher, and I'm extremely excited. But why the fuck is it so complicated? At this point, I feel kind of like an old hand at purchasing appliances, and the dishwasher is like no other.

I suppose even if I'd had one before I wouldn't have realized that dishwashers come naked. Unlike every other major appliance I can think of, they do not come with any sort of shell around the top and sides. You have to have a spot under your kitchen counter for it. I just don't get this. In case this is all news to you too, here is the naked dishwasher:

You'd never buy a refrigerator that way, and have to put it in a closet. (Okay, as someone has pointed out in the comments, you MIGHT do this - there are such things as built-in fridges - but the point is you'd still have options!) Even clothes washers, seemingly the dishwasher's closest relatives, come fully self-contained, with a plug that sticks in a wall outlet. Oh yeah, that's the other thing: There's no plug. It has to be wired. What the fuck? AND, Home Depot will only install a dishwasher if they're replacing your existing one. So you pay them 60 bucks to remove the hoses from one and attach them to the other. If it were that simple, I'd have no problems! (And yes, I knew all this before we bought it, it wasn't like a scary shock when it arrived in the apartment, but that makes it no less annoying.)

I'll spare you the details of this bizarre DIY project, but I'll definitely post more pics when it's finished. If today's trip to Home Depot for supplies is any indication, it may be a while. In the meantime, if anyone can explain to me why dishwashers are retarded, I'd love to know!

Oh, and on the same day we bought the dishwasher, Boy and I went to Queens Borough Hall and got officially domestic partnered. Since neither of us is a City employee or a fishmonger, this doesn't really do a whole lot for us, but it has a few legal perks, and there's something nice about making it a little bit official after almost 7 years. Now if that piece of paper could wash our dishes for us, I'd've led with it.

This photo nicely sums up the wedding at city hall experience: